Growing Pains

Susanna and I painted today. And after we washed all the paint off in the tub she wrapped herself up in a fleecy pink blanket and announced that she was a baby. She has been doing this a lot lately and, frankly, it has become quite annoying (among other things, she’ll throw food on the floor and refuse to talk or walk). But I recently quit my Wednesday morning commitment so we could have more downtime together, and it was Wednesday morning, so I just picked her up and cradled her in my arms, wrapped in that very soft blanket. She made soft whining noises (as a baby might) and I thought.

I thought about how she so often wants to be a baby, and then about how she more recently wants to be a mommy as well (and drink out of large glasses, go to the bathroom on the full-size toilet, and not get help with anything). And I thought about how she will soon have a brother and my parenting energies would be divided, and how whether she likes it or not, she’s growing up. And I couldn’t help but think that growing up and becoming a big sister is what her almost constant pretense of babyhood or motherhood is all about. I was very struck by what a difficult, albeit healthy, experience this probably is for her, and I got very emotional.

I know everything will be fine—be wonderful, in fact—and that Susanna’s life with be greatly enriched by exiting baby- and toddler-hood and by the arrival of a sibling.  So it was not for some terrible thing but for the difficult feelings she is now experiencing—and other struggles she will have as she continues to mature—that I wept.  It was a beautiful moment that we got to spend together as I rocked my almost three-year-old in my arms and told her that I love her and that I always will love her and that no matter how many baby brothers she has or how old she gets, she will still be my sweet baby girl. Susanna, meanwhile, continued to whine and squirm like a baby.

Quilting and Growing

Drum roll please… I’ve finished sewing the quilt squares on Susanna’s quilt!  The quilt top is not actually done yet (I am still going to sew on a border) but this is a major accomp-lishment (really, sewing the first two squares together was already impres-sive).  I think I might try to pick a more unified color theme on the next one, but I hope Susanna will like it just the same (she better because she’s not getting another one!).

And, wouldn’t you know it, Susanna’s Easter seeds have sprouted are growing well.  There are a couple of bare spots—they might be from the times when Susanna has watered so vigorously that she pushed the soil around with the trunk of her elephant watering can—but, as you can see, they look very healthy (they are actually look much better than mine). Our little garden plot isn’t doing much yet, though.  Aside from some nice growth on our seedling lettuce leaves, there is nothing new (except mysterious footprints).  I’m hopefully going to plant tomatoes today or Monday.

I’m off to a Young Women retreat for the weekend, and Susanna is very excited for some dad-time (he has been gone the past two weekends).  It’s actually a little disconcerting how happy she is about getting rid of me for the weekend.  Yesterday she she got mad at me for something (I think it was refusing to let her use more than the twenty or so squares she had already pulled off the toilet paper roll—she had only gone pee) and announced “I want you go to to your young women retreat right now!”